The End.

All right, y'all.

I quit. I'm done. Stick a fork in me. Get me the hell out of this challenge!

I mean the plank challenge. I did this bitch for more than month. I'm done.

Supposedly, if you follow this graphic, you go from 20 seconds to 5 minutes in Just. One. Month! In five weeks, I made it to two minutes. A week after the graphic says I should be there.

Now, if you're in shape, if you're in good shape, maybe you can make it to 5 minutes in a month. My dad did a minute on his first try (go Dad!). I am not in good shape. I work in an office. It's work for me to go up 3 flights of stairs (which I do because why not). I do yoga for about 45 minutes a week. Total.

I knew this going into this challenge: There's no way in hell I can do it.

But that's part of what this blog is about. The plank challenge started this blog. Let two normal women try out these challenges and see if they're actually realistic for normal people (and by normal I mean people who don't cross fit or run marathons or lift 2000 pounds on their backs) (not that all those people aren't normal, just, you know, super fit).

My verdict for the plank challenge?

Completely, totally, absolutely, sufferingly unrealistic.

Want to be able to plank? Hey, you can! Right now! Get down on your elbows or your hands and lift your stomach off the floor. Hold as long as you can. Keep practicing. It'll take more than a month, but you will eventually get pretty good.

Want a reasonable planking challenge? Here ya go.

Go forth and plank as you will.

Day Off

This morning I got to kick back with my coffee and read and relax instead of running out the door at 6:45. Had a delicious, unrushed breakfast of ground pork and scrambled eggs topped with salsa -- who says I'm on a diet? I couldn't find any sausage at the store that didn't have soy or sugar in it, so I went with the ground sausage and added some pepper flakes to spice it up.

I'm declaring today a day of rest from the plank challenge. Technically, I should be repeating the second 2-minute plank, but I've not had a rest day since Friday. I did, however, manage a 2-minute plank on Tuesday; last night's attempt failed miserably. I think I waited till it was too late and I was tired.

So today! Relaxation. Also, working on a Pinterest pin I made a few weeks ago: Weekly Menu Boards. I'm stocking the meal box with lots of delicious paleo meals that suit both me and my husband -- we each get a board since he's living in Virginia. I think instead of having the days of the week I'll list Meal 1, Meal 2, etc. I don't like pre-planning what day I do what meal -- what if I have something complicated planned, but I come home exhausted and don't have the energy to whip up something complicated? I think Meal 1 is less pressure than Monday.

Happy Independence Day, Americans! Go forth and BBQ.

Plank Challenge: I'm getting worse

I stayed on track with the plank challenge.

Thirty seconds? Please! Even the Monkey did that one with me (though his plank was more of a downward facing dog than a true plank).

One minute? Challenging! But, doable.

One and a half? Eh, that one was no fun.

Two minutes? I thought I was dying, but I got though it.

Two and a half minutes? I break out in a cold sweat five seconds in. By fifteen seconds I am shaking. By twenty seconds, my lower back is screaming. The last two days I've been trying to do two and a half minutes, and both times I only made it to forty-five seconds. How is that possible?

I am probably weak from lack of junk food.

The Plank Challenge: The Challenge That Started It All

As I was browsing on Pinterest one day, I had a lot of physical fitness challenges popping up in my feed. The one that pushed me over the edge was the Plank Challenge: 0 to 5 minutes of planking in one month. Syd had posted it, and I mentioned it seeming unrealistic. "How so?" she asked.

And so I set out to prove it was unrealistic.

I am on Day 16: two minutes. For the third day. I've got 30 seconds down flat, no problem! 45, I can handle. One minute? Sure. Once I get past that one minute mark, though, it starts getting tough. I start breathing heavily, as though I'm running, and my arms start trembling (I'm doing the on-the-elbows pose), and my belly starts shaking like a bowl full of jelly. It's pretty hilarious, I'm sure, if you're watching me plank rather than being me planking.

My approach to the plank challenge is to repeat days till I complete them. Fail 90 seconds? Do it again. Fail two minutes? Do it again. (The next day.) I time myself on my phone, and I've started turning on the television just so I have noise in the background to distract me from my trembling body.

Now, pardon me while I go attempt Day 16: Attempt 3.