Hey look, a blog!

Well, I'm on day 22 of my Whole30 challenge. All is going well. Energy levels are up, crankiness brought on by hunger is down, and life is good. I spent a couple hours yesterday chopping veggies to get ready for the week so my meals will be super simple to prepare -- that's where the trick is, I think, is being prepared and ready to come home and cook.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I wanted a cheeseburger every now and then though, bun and all. In fact, my birthday dinner (next week) is totally going to be a cheeseburger. And fries. And a chocolate shake. It will likely kill me, but I'm ok with that.

I've not been doing so great with my other goals that I set. Daily journaling? Not so much. Walking? ...Not so much.

I have, however, kept up with my 15 minutes of yoga 3 times a week. Plus, I've added in some Zumba (on the Wii) a few times a week. I first bought the game back in March, and I tried it once and gave it up because I felt stupid. Well, last week I decided I wanted to dance and I didn't care how dumb I looked...and I'm sure I looked pretty dumb. But I had fun, and I enjoyed moving my body, and I danced. Sort of. It was definitely a work out, and I hope it's something I can keep on doing. Maybe I'll even extend the not-caring-about-looking-dumb to public dancing...we'll see.

Planning on starting a new challenge -- squats this time. I'm hesitant about doing a ridiculous, THIS-IS-SPARTA challenge because I know it won't work...but then, that's the point, right? To show the ridiculousness of some of the challenges floating around in the internet that give average-fitness people unrealistic goals and make them not even start because, hey, 200 squats in one day? Really? It sounds great...but I'm doubtful it's possible. But I'll give it a go and do my best. Stay tuned for the link to the squat challenge we pick.

Challenge Failure

I did not make my primal challenge. I failed. Spectacularly. Mountain Dew and a plate of different foods from a Chinese buffet. And dessert.

Ugh.

I have lots of reasons why I didn't make it. Am I making excuses? Maybe. But in the midst of moving, it is very difficult to cook. My pans were all packed except one. I had spent all afternoon packing. And I looked at that single pan and could not think what to make. So when my mom (who is helping me pack and move), suggested Chinese, I said YES!

So I lost. I plan on doing it again (maybe even the Whole30!), after my move, after I've settled in. At a time where I'm not severely limited in what and how I can cook.

I've had lots of people say outright that they couldn't stick to my primal challenge. I probably could have, if I tried harder. But I decided I didn't need to add food stress to my move and packing stress. So my food choices a going to kinda suck the next few days, because I won't be able to cook. But, you know, that's okay. Because I'm not the type to feel guilty about the food I eat. Or even the food products that I eat.

The End.

All right, y'all.

I quit. I'm done. Stick a fork in me. Get me the hell out of this challenge!

I mean the plank challenge. I did this bitch for more than month. I'm done.

Supposedly, if you follow this graphic, you go from 20 seconds to 5 minutes in Just. One. Month! In five weeks, I made it to two minutes. A week after the graphic says I should be there.

Now, if you're in shape, if you're in good shape, maybe you can make it to 5 minutes in a month. My dad did a minute on his first try (go Dad!). I am not in good shape. I work in an office. It's work for me to go up 3 flights of stairs (which I do because why not). I do yoga for about 45 minutes a week. Total.

I knew this going into this challenge: There's no way in hell I can do it.

But that's part of what this blog is about. The plank challenge started this blog. Let two normal women try out these challenges and see if they're actually realistic for normal people (and by normal I mean people who don't cross fit or run marathons or lift 2000 pounds on their backs) (not that all those people aren't normal, just, you know, super fit).

My verdict for the plank challenge?

Completely, totally, absolutely, sufferingly unrealistic.

Want to be able to plank? Hey, you can! Right now! Get down on your elbows or your hands and lift your stomach off the floor. Hold as long as you can. Keep practicing. It'll take more than a month, but you will eventually get pretty good.

Want a reasonable planking challenge? Here ya go.

Go forth and plank as you will.

Challenge: Traffic Jam

Traffic jams are a major trigger for me for getting junk food. My commute is already an hour; any time spent over that leaves me frustrated and starving. Tonight the interstate had all lanes closed, so I jumped off and took back roads. It took me an extra 30 minutes to get home...normally, that would justify a swing through the drive through.

Tonight, though, I drove on home. Partly because I only drove past one place that I could stop, and partly because I was so tired I didn't want to do anything other than get home.

So I cooked. I made fried tuna patties (3 cans of tuna, 2 eggs, pepper, a little salt, dill, fried in coconut oil), mashed cauliflower, and a salad. Very simple dinner and very satisfying.

I'm glad I passed up the paper bag meal.

Paleo Weekend the First

In the past, I've always pretty much thrown away the paleo eating plan on the weekends. I knew this weekend would be a challenge, not only because it was the usual time when I'd throw the rules out the window, but because my husband was home. Dun dun DUN!

As my last post indicated, we went out Friday night. Saturday we kicked around the house, eggs for breakfast for me and a coconut-nut butter porridge for him, and tuna and veggie sticks for lunch. Then come dinner time, I got a major craving for the Golden Arches (and ice cream), and I withstood as long as I could. Then...we went out again.

But! Not to the GA. We went to a chain place where I could get a burger with bacon. So. Simple order, right? Bacon burger, no cheese, no mayo, no bun, add avocado, switch fries for broccoli.

First, I had fries and no bacon. I gave the husband my fries. I received my broccoli. I asked for my bacon.

My server was very confused. I will be better prepared next time.

Today I hit the grocery store before the church crowd. Stocked up on my veggies (noooooom) (6 avocados) (SIX!). I like Sundays at the grocery store because that's when my store marks down meat. I got the jackpot today, with 3 pounds of marked down grass-fed ground beef and a pound of ground buffalo. I forgot to get eggs, though, because the normal egg spot has the kind I like (cage free) normally, but the 2 cartons there had broken eggs. So I was going back to the organic section but got distracted by ... something. Mustard? Olives? I think so. Damn condiments.

Plank today: 1:20. Boo.

Primal Challenge: Day 8

The last two days, I've been at my parents' house for a visit. My parents who live on bread. If I said I wasn't tempted, I would be lying. However, I just revisited the one minute muffin, which I was able to use as a bread replacement for my hamburgers. I brought my pumpkin pancakes with me for breakfasts. And I had ham rolls for lunch. No problem!

I also attended a family reunion. It was definitely filled with temptation. Luckily, the main meat was pulled pork. I knew this going in, so I made a one minute muffin to take along so I could make a sandwich. Planning ahead is rather vital to success when you're eating stuff that isn't SAD fare, isn't it? I also brought watermelon as my contribution, knowing that I would have at least two things I could eat. I ended up having the pulled pork sandwich, watermelon, grapes, sautéed zucchini, and I did cheat a little and had some of my mom's baked beans (like 1/4 cup, if that).

At the reunion, I had to field a lot of questions. Why did I have weird bread in a bag? Why can't I just have a hamburger bun? Why no delicious coconut pudding dessert or cakes? Why no soda? Why no chips? What is this paleo diet thing anyway? You can't have legumes? Ugh.

To top it all off, we won a door prize. Duncan Hines dark chocolate fudge cake mix with frosting and sprinkles. Also: two pot holders (yay! I needed some more!), cute cupcake liners, and a good sized mixing bowl! On our return home, the Monkey-o-Mine really wanted some chocolate cupcakes, so I whipped together some primal-style: eggs, coconut flour, ground flax, maple syrup, cocoa. He gets "real" frosting, and I'm trying some weird mixture of almond spread and cocoa. We'll see how it tastes after dinner.

Paleo. Day 6. Plank. 2 Minutes.

The title says it all.

I had my first restaurant-on-the-Whole30 experience. I chose Ruby Tuesday for dinner because salad bar!

Let me tell you now, all of their appetizers are paleo-unfriendly. The apps are all breaded, or cheese, or come with tortilla chips. (What I should have done is order the guacamole and the salad bar and gotten veggies from the salad bar to eat the guac with.) Most of their entrees are not strict-paleo friendly, what with the creamy sauces or the breading. I ended up going with a steak.

I did get the salad bar as one of my sides (and it was delicious). Their selection of sides is actually really good for people trying to eat healthier: grilled zucchini, creamy mashed cauliflower, sliced tomatoes, roasted spaghetti squash, snap peas, grilled green beans, and broccoli. So I definitely appreciate their selection of veggies -- so much better than the usual french fries or "seasonal veggies".

I had my first paleo-induced dream last night. I dreamed that I had a Dr Pepper without realizing it was Dr Pepper, and then when my husband pointed it out, I was so angry at myself, and sad that I'd have to push the "No, I didn't make it" button in my daily Whole30 emails. Silly? Yes. But if these are the dreams, I want more! At least in my dreams I can have Dr Pepper and cupcakes and cheese fondue.

Also, 2 minute plank tonight. Wooo!